What Kneecaps See

It doesn't matter where your eyes are. It doesn't matter which body part they're swinging on, which limb they're clinging to. When your pupils are in motion, it doesn't matter where they land on your soft body or the folds of skin they constantly encounter. You can imagine how much weight your eyes will be under when your body collapses and the bone feet that hold it up collapse. As long as you do not suppress the feelings that you are ashamed to express and that cause a handful of acid to rise in your stomach, you will continue to survive. Pull the iron chair you often sit on in front of another window and sit down. Feel your rusty feet and the pillow on which you rested your back, which has now turned into a flat piece of fabric. Touch this iron object with your bare feet and feel that you are alive, the weight of your body, the eyes wandering over your body. These are not those watching you from the outside, that is the subject of another story.
Feel the texture of the door that looks so safe because you locked it and chained it up. Hear the crackle of the scalded paint on it and the squeak of the iron pieces that hold it when you open and close it. Understand that you are alive and still feeling things. Feel the coolness when a lonely shadow falls on you. Understand how lonely it can be in the middle of a city, in the middle of buildings, even if you're not in a forest.
Open the window, open the fly screen and let the insects in, the dried leaves of the tree in front of your house in, and the feathers of the birds perched on the tree in. Be open to everything like never before and satisfy the eyes that wander over you. Give them an opportunity to satisfy all their curiosity about this world. Let them understand everything with you before they leave you, before they leave your body and infect another living being. Live this moment that you will be proud of later. As you continue to wander, more and more you; They will hate you as they become hotter, redder, more clearly veined and sweatier. They will feel the non-flowering seeds that you have hidden in the folds of your body and buried there.
 
July, 2024